Understanding the human relationships

A conversation with the Mentor

Disciple: It seems that many of the young people are struggling with human relationship problems of various kinds. For instance, they might not get along with or find themselves at odds with others at various places and conditions.

Mentor: Every problem is very real and pressing to the person concerned. When someone comes to with a problem because they trust you, I hope you will listen sincerely and respond with empathy and compassion. It is absolutely vital you respect the person’s privacy, maintaining strict confidentiality about what they tell you. Depending on the problem, it may sometimes be appropriate to take them to seek guidance with someone trustworthy and more experienced in the faith.

In life, there are bound to be people we don’t like or get alone with. I have also encountered my share of unpleasant and spiteful people. Not even close friends always see eye to eye. Our relations with family members too, may not always be smooth. And even in SGI there may sometimes be people we don’t mesh with.

Buddhism teaches the four sufferings and the eight sufferings. The first four are the fundamental sufferings of birth, ageing, sickness and death. They; along with our additional sufferings comprise the eight sufferings. Interestingly, one of these latter four is the suffering of having to meet those whom one hates.

In other words, everyone at some point or another experience problems or difficulties in human relationships. We have to be ready to deal with such problems as long as we live. So if you are having problems of that sort now while you are young, just think of these problems as a learning process, adopt a broader long term view and work through it. That is the way; you make your problems a foundation for your personal growth.

Disciple: That’s very clear that many young people also face problems in their relationships with their families and friends.

Mentor: None of us are perfect, so there are bound to be problems now and then. But the important thing is that you yourself strive to become the brilliant actor in drama of life.

In the novel” little lord Fauntleroy”, Cedric, the protagonist in this book is sent to live with grandfather in England. His grandfather is the member of aristocracy and is of haughty, ill- tempered nature. The grandfather is warmed by the Cedric’s innate goodness and sincerity. Though everyone disliked the grandfather, but Cedric believed in his essential goodheartedness. He persisted in treating his grandfather with deep respect, love and cheerfulness, eventually melting the old man’s hardened heart.

When it comes to human relationships, our attitudes can change others’ attitudes. If we change, those around us will also change too. It is like the situation when one faces the mirror and makes a bow of obeisance” the image in the mirror likewise makes a bow of obeisance to oneself.

If we believe in the Buddha nature within others and truly respect and value them as people, though they may seem to resist, the Buddha nature within them will respond to ours.

Arrogant people who disrespect others will end up losing trust and respect of those around them.

If we respect others and always try to discover what we can learn from them, our life will be enriched and more enjoyable. We will be respected by others in return, just like the simile of our reflection bowing back to us in the mirror and be able to lead a winning life.

Disciple: Some people easily lose confidence when human relationships don’t go the way they hope.

Mentor: That’s why it is important to chant. Through the power of our deep and strong resolve, chanting nam myoho renge kyo is the ultimate means for bringing harmony to people in our environment and transforming then into a positive force for value creation. In addition, praying for others’ happiness and welfare is the action of a Buddha. There is no higher or nobler state of life.

The lotus sutra states: “Although the devil and devil people will be there and they will protect the Buddhist law”. If you have a strong faith, you can transform anyone onto an ally who will support the noble cause of human happiness and unsurpassed good that is kosen rufu. It is amazing how this works, that is why nothing is better than chanting.

Through chanting Nam myoho renge kyo, we can transform any relationship in to a fortunate Buddhist connection, any person into a positive “good friend”.

Disciple: Is it healthy for a couple to quarrel?

Mentor: Having the spunk to argue is a sign of good health! When the two people are in a relationship share similar life conditions, it is only natural that they will lock horns from time to time. On the other hand, if one of them begins to think of the other as a child who does not know any better, then the two will probably, not have serious confrontations because their life states are so different.

It would be great if we could live cheerfully, enjoying life to the extent that we regard our partner’s nagging as a sign of his or her good health and proof that he or she is alive and kicking. When we develop a broad state of life, then even a cacophony of criticism sounds like the sweet song of a bird.

Patience is the key to happiness

Mentor: At any rate, the important things are love and compassion. From the understanding, all a couple can do us chant daimoku together with their sights set on a lofty goal and strive for true happiness.

Even married couples were strangers at one time, without patience and the effort to understand one another; things are not likely to go well. Patience is necessary for a couple to live together, earn a living, protect their home, and educate their children while dedicating themselves for others.

We need patience in order to become happy. There are many who dream about the happiness without patience. But that is a dream, but a dream is just that- a dream, a fairy tale. It is to wish for a childish, easy life. This illusion breaks up many marriages. The pursuit of such happiness can only end in our becoming miserable.

It is important to make efforts to calmly construct something together. From there, real love develops. Real love means wanting to live with the other person throughout eternity. Real marriage id when you have been married for 25 years and feel an even deeper love than you did when you first met. Love that does not is merely on the level of simple likes and dislikes.

It is important for a couple to listen to each other. Men in particular should listen to what women have to say. It is important for a couple to compliment each other and praise each other inside the home. It does not matter what for- praising each other is what matters. Nothing good comes from only pointing out the other person’s faults. That’s just foolishness.

On divorce

Disciple: Getting stuck with someone you never want to see again is to experience the suffering of having to meet those whom one hates. It happens sometimes that people who fall in love and get married reach a point when they can’t stand the sight of each other! Such conflicts may result in divorce, but some situations it might be best to look at the problem as one’s karma and then work hard at changing karma at the fundamental level.

Mentor: This is something that only two people involved can decide. No one else has the right to say that anyone either should or should not get divorced. Nor can anyone say a person has no faith because they are divorced, Divorce is a matter of free will.

Whether or not people get divorced, the important thing is that they become happy, that they do their human revolution. Whether someone is married or not, has children or not, of utmost importance is happiness, this is what faith is about. For happiness exists within our own life.

We are born alone and we die alone. We live so that we may transform ourselves in this lifetime. That’s why we need to do our best, regarding those around us as good friend who help us develop our faith and viewing everything from the Buddhist point of view.

Someone once asked, “Things are not going very well between my husband and me. Should I stick it out? Or do you think I ought to consider separated?

Mentor: “I can’t tell you what to do about your marriage. I can neither tell you not to get divorced, nor to get divorced. The only thing I can say is that unless you break through your karma to have such a husband, then, even if you do separate, you are bound to experience the same kind of suffering in the future. And if you are going to have to go through the same suffering anyway, then perhaps it is not too late to do something about your present marriage.  

The fact is that most marriages are not 100% successful. Some have gone so far as to say that 99% of all marriages are unsuccessful!

Quantum Buddha

Quantum Buddha – Physics behind Buddhism

A contemporary view on the practice of Buddhism.

I know what the first thing on your mind is!!

Have science and religion changed places? Or is Science on the roads to discover the paths of wisdom of faith?

Ever since, I have taken up the faith in Buddhism, I have met many people with whom, I shared my experiences and learning so far. I know, I still have to trace my roots to the understanding on the subject of faith, but I can totally relate to all those who feel perplexed about the boundless benefits people get by chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

I decided to write this blog to share how I found my connection with Buddhism. Being from technical background the left side of brain always wanted a justification, a proof to approve of anything and Buddhism was no different.

I gave Buddhism a shot, only after, I read a lot from various sources on the power of positive thinking, affirmations, Law of attraction. The final conclusion was voicing a parallel between physics and teaching of Buddhism.

To start with, let’s go back to our school days when we were taught “The three laws of motion by Newton”. The third one and most remembered one: “Every action has equal and opposite reaction.”  The teachings of Buddhism are no different, the law of cause and effect states every thought in your mind, every word you speak and action you do in life creates a reaction which produces a new counter reaction leading to an endless chain of actions and reactions. These actions and reactions actually hold us in the good and bad karmas. This karmic cycle is a result in cosmic creation of life after life, making us determine to act in a certain way in order to fulfill the desires from the past life. By the means of reincarnation, we reap the results of the actions.

The learning gained under the apple tree made Newton introduce us with “The law of universal gravitation”, which states that every point mass in the universe attracts every other point mass. Did you notice that some of our real life experiences are influenced by our own thoughts, imaginations, beliefs and actions??? Yes, we attract these events also in our lives!!! 

Like law of gravitation the Law of attraction is also working at every moment without a fail. So, the next time you think negative about anything you know what you are attracting towards yourself. 

Buddhism teaches us to have dreams and belief in our prayers without doubts. The philosophy indicates that the mind of an ordinary person, which at each moment is endowed with the potential of three thousand realms; it is our strong ichinen that make any target attainable, no matter how lofty the target is. Our ichinen should be strong, as a strong ichinen had the following charterstics as:

(a) it pervades the entire universe;

(b) it includes both body and mind;

(c) it includes both self and environment;

(d) it gives rise to good and evil; and

(e) it encompasses cause and effect simultaneously.

So, if you want your wishes to manifest and you have a strong ichinen the entire universe will come together to make it true for you!! J

When we talk of law of attraction, we must see it in context of our prayers for someone who is not physically in our proximity. It is most often suggested to pray for others’ happiness to earn a good fortune. But most people think how will my prayers affect or bring about any change in someone else’s life. Let’s have a scientific reason support this. Various Physicists have proven that when two subatomic particles are brought together even once, they even instantly register the changes in another. And this is irrespective of the space they are in or how many miles separate them. The science of today thus seems to validate the Buddhist wisdom of then, that everybody and everything are on some level interconnected. This sets a relationship between the microcosm within a human being to macrocosm (our environment). What all we encounter in life is what attract.

When we have now talked about interaction of atoms and subatomic particles lets us talk about the energy of these atoms. Going back the classroom again, according to "law of conservation of energy", the energy can neither be created nor be destroyed; it can be transformed from one from to another. The psychodynamics of the mind as an electromagnetic structure establishes the nature and reality of consciousness as an interdimensional energy process. Our conscious and unconscious thoughts and beliefs have a wavelength of some amplitude (called the energy level) and frequency (occurrence). This is interesting to note that, it has been proven that when we think of doing something we have a frequency of these thoughts which is of exactly the same frequency when we are doing that something. Hence, when we think of winning a race, getting merit in exams or catching a train, we have the same frequency when we are actually running the race or writing and exam.

According to the principle of resonance, the resonating body induces the same resonance in a non-resonating body (remember the tuning fork experiment).Similarly, our thought at a frequency attract everything at that frequency. So if we think of happiness, you will attract happiness!!!

The energy of your thoughts attracts what you think of and biggest thing it works on your unconscious thoughts as well, so one needs cleanse one’s thoughts. Buddhism teaches us to do our human revolution and change ourselves from within to the ninth conscious. In this way by changing our microcosm we can change the macrocosm. 

Now going back to where I started from, how can chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo manifest our dreams. When we chant Nam myoho renge kyo, our thoughts resonates the environment at the positive frequency that the chant inherent. Hence, whatever you pray for, manifests, because you attract that by resonating the environment at the frequency of your thoughts. 

Impression

I am Shipra and I started the journey on the path of this life transforming practice in January 2012 ad midst of cold and depressing conditions both inside and outside me. I was in Denmark fighting my karmic battle. When I started to walk down the roads of the law of Lotus sutra, I was really unsure of where I was heading to. When I was asked to write an impression, it made me trace back the path of my expedition and I am happy sharing the impression of the practice on me.

I never accepted just anything coming my way on the face value of it, never followed it until it made some sense to me. I was never formally introduced and I was practicing on the basis of reading and YouTube videos. The more I read, the more my quest to know about it got deeper. Eventually, this got me back to India. In the first meeting, I attended, I was totally lost and then I met my comrades in practice. This meeting laid the foundation of understanding of BSG about which I read prior to joining the practice.

Time to time unconditional support and guidance that I received from the seniors in faith and the love and positive vibes from all the members has a great contribution in transforming me as a better person. I know, I have a long way to go but I am sure I shall never be lonely again and with head held high I shall always strive hard to accomplish my mission to do my human revolution.

I have had immense benefits since the begin of the practice; I was determined to overcome the problems and transform myself. I was very short tempered, a person of low self-esteem and self-doubt. Once the problems became an opportunity to challenge myself to achieve the targets I had set for myself.

The seniors always said “ to take the faith is easy, but to sustain is difficult”, and I have experienced it a number of times, but I have also realized that in BSG no one is alone, when you are in low life condition all the members stand together. Be it an applause on your victory or an encouragement on the way to victory.

I have deep memories of the preparation meetings for May 3^rd. I cannot still forget the mark that the vividness of the practice sessions and session on 6^th May left on the minds of each of us. Every one of us strove hard to make it a success.

Victory and defeat shall always stand adjacent to each other; it is we who decide what happens to us. We select to be victorious or to be defected. I pledge to never be defeated, and until I emerge victorious never to give up.